To DiSC or Not To DiSC

"I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap."  Ani Defranco, American singer, songwriter

One question that comes up quite often is, "Now that I'm learning about differences in behavior style, do I need to do a guess at their DiSC style with everyone I meet?" 

Good question ... in most interactions, we are so focused on the message we are giving or receiving and what we have to do with the information that it is already too much sometimes. 

How about keeping things simple? If you are already in rapport, in sync, in alignment with the other person, you are probably paying attention on the unconscious level to how that person prefers to communicate and you are automatically adapting. Or they may have a similar preferences to yours. It is when the communication does not feel clear and easy that the DiSC Model can come to the rescue. 

By observing the distinctions regarding task-oriented and people-oriented you can begin to align your style with theirs. (See the previous blog post.)

When a person who scores high on I-Influencing works with a person who is very high on C-Compliance, he needs to slow down and pay attention to the details of the task. Vice versa - when the C needs to have a positive relationship with the I, she needs to warm up a little and start with the big picture before delving into details. 

The D-Dominant preference needs to warm up and relax a little to establish rapport with the I's and S's, and to have some understanding that C's will have far more detail than is needed by the D and that the S's will do anything they can to get the job done, if you just ask nicely.

So the answer to the question "to DiSC or not to DiSC?" is Yes! Just a little attention to what the other person prefers or needs will save time and energy and opportunities.

Take Charge -- Get Moving!

Love and light,

Diane

DiSC and The Law of Requisite Variety

My client, Jack, is a busy manager who recently took the DiSC assessment as part of his coaching program. He liked the DiSC Model and said that he learned a lot about what makes people tick, but asked, “So what do I do with it now? Why should I put any more effort into applying it?”

How about this – More Power!

Do you want to be in control of your interactions with others? Here’s a way to do just that!


There is a body of knowledge called Neuro-Linguistic Programming -- also known as NLP and Neurolinguistics. NLP studies the structure of how humans think and experience the world, and is based on the presupposition that all behavior has a structure which can be modeled, learned, taught, and changed (re-programmed).

One principle of NLP applies well to how we use the DiSC model. The Law of Requisite Variety states that the one with the most flexibility of behavior will control the entire system, including communication. Have you ever noticed a child in the grocery store asking for cookies, candy, toys, etc.? If one behavior and request doesn’t do the job, he will try many other behaviors with lots of flexibility = controlling mom and getting the result.

“So just by adjusting to the other person’s preferences, I get to be in charge?” Jack asked. Right -- Two simple comparisons will help you to adjust your communication style to that of the other person.

1. Are they Direct/outgoing or are they Reserved?

2. Are they more Task-oriented or more People-oriented?

From those two observations, you can narrow their style to 

• Dominant = Direct, Task-oriented; 
• Influential = Direct, People-oriented; 
• Steady = Reserved, People-oriented; 
• Compliant = Reserved, Task-oriented. 

By starting your interaction where THEY are, you establish rapport, eliminate barriers/walls, and build a relationship that supports getting to a desired result. My challenge to you is that you become a Master of The Law of Requisite Variety.

Take Charge -- Get Moving!

Love and light,

Diane 

Communication is a "fat" word

People are different ... duh! When we engage in "communication", we often forget that basic fact and charge ahead in our own style and paradigm of the world. Personality and behavioral preferences affect how and why we communicate the way we do. The word, communication, has as many meanings as there are people using it -- it is a "fat" word.


My favorite tool for clarifying and improving communication behaviors with clients and teams is the DiSC assessment. By making 24 simple selections on the assessment, we get a fairly comprehensive report on our own behavioral and communication preferences and information about how others are different. Aha! So that's the reason for some of the misfires and clashes we've had in the past. THEY communicate differently, have different expectations, and a different  view of the world. 


Is this assessment perfect? Some people say that this kind of inquiry has flaws, and they are correct. However, if I understand how my style differs from others I work/play with, I have a choice of being flexible in order to establish Rapport and a sense of understanding much more quickly. In effect, I can improve my communication effectiveness.


In the next few posts, I'll give you some basics that will help you to review your own DiSC assessment. You can find several sources online, free or for a small fee. You may find as one client recently said, "I wish I had known this 10 years ago!"


Take charge - Get Moving!


Love and light,
Diane

“Don’t compromise yourself.  You’re all you’ve got.” ― Janis Joplin

For many years I've used assessments/tools to help my coaching clients "know themselves" behaviorally. The DiSC profile, the Meyers-Briggs, or StrengthsFinder 2.0 provide excellent reports that identify style, communication preference, and personal characteristics and offer action plans for applying the information. Most of these tools share two basic truths -
1. You have to apply the information to benefit from the tool, and

2. A Strength when overused becomes a weakness.

Unfortunately, a time of transition or change is stressful - and in a stressed state we tend to be and become more of what we already are and overuse our strengths. For example: the analytical person tends to over-analyze and avoid action; the expressive and outgoing individual may rely too much on optimism and not enough on strategy and discipline; the stable amiable worker avoids effective reaching-out actions that might "interrupt" or "disturb" someone they might be networking with; and the directive style, focusing on bottom line results (or lack of results), becomes his/her own worst enemy.

Knowing who you are is a first step. The next step is owning the pitfalls of your personal style or perspective on the world and doing actions that don't necessarily feel good or natural.This is the time to grow, to develop new muscles, to use your strengths and natural gifts to their fullest. Are you an introvert? Read "The Introvert Advantage" by Lancy and begin to recognize new ways to be your truest self and still attain your goals.

Are you a "type A" dominant style? Learn to notice the effect your stressed out style has on people around you - that will give you reason to relax with a deep breath and let go of the need to "get it all done right this instant, regardless of consequences."

Don't compromise who you are. DO use all the best of who you are to achieve your goals in the shortest time and with the best results.

Take Charge -- Get Moving!
Love and light,
Diane

Relationship and Rapport

How do you connect with people you meet on the business or career transition path? People often lose valuable opportunities to create new and lasting relationships because they are so busy focusing on what they want that they don't notice what the other person wants. The emphasis is on what they want to say before the other person really wants to listen!

Here are some examples: Do you prefer to start with the big picture or all the details? Do you tend to speak in a fast, energetic style, or are you laid back and studied? The fact is that we each have preferences and a style for communicating ... and we like people who we perceive are mostly like us.

So here's a simple technique to help you be a master at establishing rapport. Pay attention to how the other person tends to behave and speak. Enter into their world and preferences for communicating by matching their patterns. You will find that when you start by establishing rapport, there will be two parties wanting to relate.