The Case for Pollyanna

I'm an optimist. In the midst of whatever challenge or unfortunate situation, after an initial automatic reactive "ouch", I go for the positive and the possible. People around me who call themselves "realists" tell me I'm a crazy Pollyanna who just doesn't get it. "Interesting", I say.

What I've learned in every area of my life, is that I can't control circumstances, only my response to them. If I experience weather, traffic, taxes, or a stubbed toe, I can choose what to focus on and what kind of thoughts and feelings I take forward from that situation. Does it color my day or my life in shades of gray and tension in my body? Can I do what needs to be done and feel positive just knowing that stuff happens? My life experience will take the shape and form of the feelings I have about what happens. 

"What you focus on expands" is an old maxim. So telling and retelling the negative story to myself and others serves to continue the negative thoughts, feelings, and results. Now there's a happy thought. That also means that choosing to see the positive and possible also brings more of the same. The only question here is "What do I really want?" My optimistic answer is to be happy, to be whole, to be willing and able to serve a higher good.

So that's my case for Pollyanna. If you are in the midst of a career change, switch to a more positive feeling state by asking yourself a few questions:

• What am I learning in this experience?
• What benefits are possible?'
• What do I need to do right now to move in the direction that will bring more of what I want in my life?
• Who is showing up for me as friend, supporter, or resource? Who needs me to show up as these same things for them?
• Who am I called to be in this situation?
• In spite of the challenges, how am I experiencing blessings right now? 

A recent movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, has a classic line. "''Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, then it's not yet the end''.  Sounds pretty good to me! 

I often lead workshops and coach clients on the topic of Irresistible Attraction that has a foundation on choosing to find the positive and focusing on that. Let's chat if you'd like to know more. One of my clients came up with his affirmation on this: "Life is Good and Every Day is Christmas!". I couldn't have said it better.

Ready? Take Charge -- Get Moving

Love and light,
Diane

What's the Question?

We're trained early to go for an answer and that there is a right answer to most questions. As a result we often focus on mundane, ordinary, and wimpy questions in our networking, job seeking, and interviewing processes.

 

The truth is that a more successful strategy for influencing others and building relationships is to ask a great question ... and then to listen carefully. Seems simple, doesn't it? And yet it's the one skill that career transition-ers, managers, and sales professionals often under-utilize in the face of time and energy limitations. It seems faster and easier to ask information-oriented questions and just get it done. We assume the relationship before building it.

What makes a question a great question? A simple answer is that it is "open"; it can't be answered with one-word or a simple information stream, like "what is your name?" An excellent open question causes the other person to pause, think for a moment, and go into their own experience for a response. Here are some good open questions that can become great in the right context:

• Besides the expectation of making/exceeding quota, what does it take to be successful on this sales team?
• How does the culture of this organization/team show up or affect this position?
• What advice would you give to someone in my situation?
• How can I best serve you? 
•  What do you like best about your current ________?

 

When you are going for an information interview, job interview, prospecting appointment, project management meeting, etc., take the time to craft a list of great questions that will engage the other person. The trust/relationship bridge is strengthened when we give them a chance to be heard. The real issues, strengths, opportunities will unfold in the process.

Just another way to  - Take Charge - Get Moving!

Love and light,

Diane

 

PS: * the photo is a time-lapse of moths flying in the light